So, Sylvia Plath. Everyone raise your hand who knows who she is?
Okay so you three in the back, that read The Bell Jar in high school, what do you know about her?
Yeah... that whole oven incident was a doozy.
But what if we begin to peel back each layer around her death?
What do we begin to see?
This post has been a long time coming, something that has been brewing for years, and is now here, haunting me at the forefront of my mind.
We're killing women all the time, hurting them destroying them, peeling them apart like pieces of meat ready to be sucked clean off the bone and then thrown out.
I recently worked an event for my job, where we hosted an author who wrote the most recent biography on Sylvia Plath. The event was for the book on Plath, but he also wrote a biography on Marilyn Monroe and many other famous faces. He was a genius, a journalism professor and absolutely fascinating on what he presented to the small crowd who came to listen to him, Carl Rollyson.
His book "American Isis", though I have not read it yet, his talk hit me hard. His talk on suicide, mental illness, the constraints of the culture Plath lived in, and her relationship with Ted Hughes, and how all of it lead to the death of a literary genius.
I don't pretend to be an expert on the book, or on Sylvia, or on mental illness. I know what I do know. I know what I have experienced, my struggles and how they
relate to any women of the last few centuries.
I read the
Bell Jar I LOVED the
Bell Jar her voice was that not so unlike me, not so far removed from my struggles. Even today lines from that book keep me going, they remind me I am not alone in my life, that these thoughts, fears and this path is not completely solitary. Plath is a bit of a hero to me, I know she took her own life in really unsettling circumstances, but she did a lot for women, our story, our pain.
So, this post is called killing women, and that is what I want to talk about. When I was at the event the woman that took the photo, of Plath in her college days at Smith, was present. She lives locally, and she was such a delight to speak with. She told me about Plath, and how she had been in college, how she had acted. "She was kind to me" said the photographer. Kind.
Then the photographer went on to talk about growing up post World War II, "we were raised to be sweet" she said. "Little did we know they were just trying to keep us home." For the first time in my life a woman from that 1950's early 60's generation admitted the faults of the culture to my face. She damned the time and what it did to people, to women.
I have also been watching Mad Men recently, the amount of sexism and stories is all kinds of shocking, scandal, unacceptable. Then I have to put on the brakes of horror and think.
"Shit this was 50 years ago, but it has not changed that much!"
It hasn't!
Part of that I owe to this article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/06/mad-men-workplace_n_3029909.html
So I have a huge soup of anger, and annoyance and confusion. Then I have been mixing in sprinkles of women from the eighteenth century. Where at times they had more liberation and freedom, which was then sucked back up by the nineteenth century, and my favorites, the Victorians. Did you know some women had the right to vote in a few states after the revolution? for a good twenty years or so? before culture and government decided women needed to stay our of politics in the 1800s?
So, before I go down too many rabbit trails, let's look at a closer frame. The last fifty years.
In 1963, let's recap what was happening:
Equal pay was reformed
The Feminine Mystique was published
But:
Discrimination laws had not gone into effect
Not all states allowed MARRIED couples to use contraception (let alone single individuals).
If you wanted to get divorced there had to be a "fault" like adultery.
There was huge sex discrimination in schools, such as women not being allowed in some sports, or having to wear skirts.
Husbands could RAPE their wives, without repercussion.
You could be discriminated against for a job for being pregnant.
Legal and safe abortions were not allowed on a federal level.
Sexual harassment was not punishable.
There was no Violence Against Women Act
So here we are in 2013 and what has changed? Well the truth is a lot, and not a lot at the same time. The VAWA was challenged recently, states continue to fight abortion laws, and contraception has also been under attack and made less accessible.
Here's the thing. VAWA, helps save lives, educate and assist in aiding victims against violence. Women, and their children. Here are some statistics to really help it hit home:
http://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence/resources/statistics.html
And I know abortion is a scary, complicated situation. However, I will always believe it is a choice of a woman and a healthcare provider and should be safe, and legal. How many have died e from illegal abortions? Here's some information:
http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.asp?compID=100&id=20
The thing is abortions, terminating pregnancy, or getting rid of unwanted children is nothing new to the human race. Did you know the Romans, if having an unwanted child would leave it in the street, where it was likely to freeze to death or be eaten by feral dogs? Or that for centuries women would take an herb called Pennyroyal, which could work, but commonly lead to women bleeding to death? I don't think anyone wants to go back to those days, we have better alternatives.
The even better choice? Contraceptives, free, available, and education provided with them. It helps with not only avoiding pregnancy but helps with preventing the spread of STD's. See how well it worked in Thailand:
http://www.ted.com/talks/mechai_viravaidya_how_mr_condom_made_thailand_a_better_place.html
Anyway, all of these things help women, helps keep them happy, safe, and healthy and I believe those are very important. Now, I know some of you may completely disagree with some of these things. I get it, I trust your opinion for you, is what works for you, and I don't ever think these things should be forced on another human being, but don't let me not have a choice. We can disagree can't we? and have laws that help everyone instead of controlling?
So my other points are on the objectification of women.
Watch this it will make an impact, I promise:
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/killing-us-softly-3/
So, here we are back to Plath, Monroe and any other woman put into a shitty place they didn't really ask for. I know mental illness had a lot to do with deaths of such persons, but what about all the other layers? Marriage entrapment, societal exploitation and being trapped. How good would you feel if your whole world felt like it needed to shove you in a tiny box, when all you wanted was to stand on top of it? Your entire being was wanting to just be you, and everyone and everything around you wanted you to stay in that little fucking box, and make nice, and pretend it didn't bother you.
Guess what, this is what is killing us, whether it's a botched abortion, suicide, or starvation we are being placed in boxes and choices are being thrown away. Feminism has to do with equality and that we all get to choose, our rights, our bodies, our lives. To me it means I can go to school, have a career, a SAFE marriage, health care, contraceptives and the choice to have kids or not. It means I have legal rights if I am raped, or abused, it means that I don't have to be shoved into a box, and that the law and society should respect my choices. Or alternatively if I want to have kids, and be a stay at home mom. OR if I want to live a single life with ten cats! I get to choose, no one else.
Thanks for reading, comments are welcome as always.
~Rebecca
