HOLI-DAZE

Howdy people!

It's November, the 21st to be exact and like most of you I deep in the trenches of the holidays!

Today is my anniversary to my dear boyfriend, three years! But I have known him more than eight and now is when I start to feel time on me and how fast it moves and that I am very quickly approaching my mid twenties when yesterday it felt like I was turning 21. Then there is Ryan's daughter who went from a wobbly 3.5 years of age and will be 7 in May. Which gets me thinking about my impending graduation in a year, and what I am doing after and if I get two year-long masters degrees like I am planning Lily will be 10 by the time I am done, Ryan 30 and I will be 26! My mom already had three kids at 26! Granted she started young....but still! I guess I am taking the other path of career then babies, maybe? Do I even want babies? Why is it plural? (bangs head on keyboard)

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BACK TO THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE

Thankgiving is in a week, and somehow me having a comfy family gathering is now including many friends and has almost reached 20 guests! So I had to rent en event space at my apartment unit, because I only like in 800 square feet, a little cozy if people only get about 5 feet per person. However, through planning and patience I think I will somehow pull it off, and everyone is bringing some type of food which helps a ton.

Then Christmas is a whole 26 days after that and we will be travelling to see family that day.

The GREAT news is that I am finished with GIFT SHOPPING! finished, done, happy and everything is wrapped!

You say "how the hell, Rebecca"

I say "year-round shopping!"

I start picking up stuff in October usually, order books for set family members from work at the same time (I work at an independent bookstore) and then I get a few things at local stores to add to the presents, consult with siblings to go in on big gifts and VOILA I am finished baby. The last thing to do is convince the boyfriend to take a NICE holiday photo with me and then we can make our cards and get then on their way (he hates photos and makes faces as a result).

That's about that. My holiday blurb, comment below if you want more shopping tips.

Merida Costume Complete! :D

I finished my Merida costume and thanks to some great friends I actually got photos of myself in it.

Got my boyfriend in on the action as well.

I 

Some issues with the back, since I had to tie it myself, (the men in my life don't get corset strings)

Sew baby Sew!

Sew. Well the actual stitching part hasn't happened yet. But I am getting somewhere. Since it has been rainy and stressful I not only finished the book I was reading and I REALLY worked on costumes for Halloween.

I bought my fabric a few weeks ago online to a few problems. 1 the wool I ordered was SUIT wool not wool for making a cape, so instead I went to the store and actually bought a black wool/polyester blend for only about $9/yard, I got less than recommended for my pattern, but I knew I didn't want it way long on me, and too much wool becomes really heavy really fast. Especially on all the other layers I will be wearing.

black felt for cape

I also was not super fond of the color of linen I ordered, I wanted it to have a little more GREEN in it, so I bought a packet of forest green Dylon fabric dye to alter the color slightly, which I let my linen sit in for about an hour and got some great results.

Dylon

dye job- use the sick for easy clean up and rubber mixer so as not to stain

LEFT: original color                            RIGHT: after dying

Other than that my white fabric for my chemise is perfect, white and a good sort of wrinkly, I'm excited about the results of that as well, but slightly concerned over if the sleeves will be long enough.

Gauzy white

I'm using these patterns, with slight revisions:

Ryan's costume is SO simple. If you want to do a GREAT KILT for Halloween, buy 10 yards of fabric, look up a tutorial and GO. That's it. Granted Ryan already has a shirt from when we did the Princess Bride and we ordered some simply boots he can wear with socks and voila.

NOTE ON WIDTH: I couldn't find 60" wide plaid material ANYWHERE unless I wanted to buy a kilt, the cheapest was $220. So I went to Joann, bought 44" wide cotton flannel (like for shirts) and made sure to get something close to a traditional tartan (Stuart Hunting) , which as far as I trust should be just fine. NOTE ON YARDS: you may not need 5 yards, less may work just fine, it all depends on how much you want to spent and how big your kilt wearer is.

This tutorial was very helpful for me.

When done I hope to look as awesome as this!

Back to the Basics

When I was 9 my dad was going to swap meets, gun shows, antique stores etc. Same as he does today, same as he always will. Yet at one of these events he found something that would change my life forever. At one of these little meets he found a Canon 1980 AE-1 35mm camera. The body was in pristine shape, and the basic lens was also functional, it even had a cap that alluded to the sponsorship of the 1980 Olympics by Canon. My dad bought this camera with its hideous rad and yellow strap, and sentimental lens cap; he took it home, he dusted it off, he bought a camera bag and presented me this for my 10th birthday.

What my baby looks like

I was ecstatic at this gift, and to this day I think it was the best present I ever got as a child. This meant I would no longer waste film and energy with my grandma's ole and clunky point and shoot and that I too could have an SLR, just like my dad's Pentax and take photos. Lots of photos.

Yet it was not just taking photos it was everything that came with the responsibility of owning and using an SLR. It meant that my first roll of film was ruined when I tried to wind it up because I didn't understand the method of pushing one little black button on the bottom of the camera, shredding my work. It meant that I had to learn how to patiently adjust lighting, shutter speed, focus etc. It meant walking around outside and in my house with a piece of cardboard with a square cut out of it to see what framed well or not. It meant months of waiting to save up money to develop film. It meant being the weird kid in middle school always taking pictures on her SLR or a throw away. This was before smart phones, and the time when it was cool to be shutter happy.

So why bring this up?

Well in Italy this summer another student at my school, a professional photographer that owns his own business and has since he was a teenager (now 24) was going back to basics. He was going to art school for photography to get an actual degree. Granted it seemed that he knew about 95% of what he was relearning, but he felt happy learning it all over again.

So, here I am, back at Colorado State, 22 years old, meaning I have about 12 years of experience, I've shot two weddings, I have another on the way. I have a decent portfolio and I believe a lot of talent and experience but I am taking a bare-bones basic photography class, where I am relearning most of what I know or instinctively do when I am taking photos.

Yet, there is something thrilling about relearning these little things, or reminding yourself about all the little functions of a camera or the importance of aperture. As frustrated as I was in my first two weeks of a game of repetition all the sudden today I feel refreshed. It is not as if I am learning something new, or having a major life change as a result, I just feel excited again.

Not only am I going to be shooting some neat things for the class, which is a minor challenge and mentally stimulating, something I need in a course, but I am getting to slowly sink into a pool of photography. I don't have to explain to people, I can just do photos, I don't have to be perfect for a client, I can just do photos and once again I am tasting what it was to be 10 years old taking photos of plastic dinosaurs.

I can breath in the smell of equipment, and though the gelatin plastic sweetness of film is tucked in the back of my closet, there is so much with digital that I can be excited about.

Which brings me to my point. Maybe we can all use to go back to basics. Maybe just baking sugar cookies until they're perfect, or doodling, or sewing draw string bags. Because I am finding a thrill in relearning, in being more present, in going slowly. I am also learning to not look down on "the simple" because there is some chunk in there for us to gain something from. So experts and professionals, where did you start? What could you go back to to reclaim part of you?

~Rebecca Lee Robinson

Steam Punk Wedding

This happened a few weeks ago but with the start of school and what not I did not get to post anything, but better late than never.

A few weeks ago some friends from high school for married in Woodland Park, where we all went to high school together. Town of maybe 7,000 mountainous, pretty and a good chance to catch up with people.

They had the wedding at the local golf club, and with only minor problems the day was a success, the couple was happy and I got some great images for themselves and myself to enjoy.

Book-page flowers for centerpieces

The officiants

Grooms party

Such beautiful landscape

The groom

Happy couple!

Bridal Party

Bridal Party

Beautiful Bride

Happy Couple shot.

Getting things in focus

So I have this thing where I do photos. I take them for weddings, engagements, maternity, and for fun such as wen I was travelling this summer. But being an artist of any type is usually expensive, time consuming, exhausting, and you get paid very little money, if anything at all.

Therefore I am doing a few new things to bring in extra cash. Not only did I re-open my Etsy store, but I am working on updating it and getting new items into that store and two other ones. The easiest one has been on Pixie Set, where I can quickly add albums and then sell prints instantly that way. The other one which gives me more versatility is through Fine Art America where I can do a HUGE variety of prints, cards etc. They do all the dirty work of shipping and printing, and I get a check for what I have sold every month.

Those are a few new changes. I also updated prices, packages, and printing which can all be seen on my website. I'm also doing a wedding in a couple weeks in Kentucky, doing school projects for a class, and maybe even some other odd jobs here and there.

As always comment below! Or e-mail me with photo inquiries, jobs, and general questions.

I'm going to be BRAVE

Well beyond the emotional courage aspect...

I'm going to be MERIDA!

For Halloween and Ryan is going to be a man in a kilt.





















I also just thought of putting GIFs in my posts.....so expect a lot more of these!

But anyway I plan on going full out! I plan on my hair being just as crazy as this!

The only thing that will be missing is THIS

See they don't accept draft horses where I live.

BACK to the costumes!

This is what Ryan hopes to dress up as:

This is what is actually going to happen:

Love you Ryan, I promise!

My costumes is going to be your basic Merida.

Blue dress, white chemise, big red hair, black boots. I even have a long bow! 

I'm going to be bad ass.

REAL photos to come tomorrow! 

~Rebecca Lee Robinson

Gluten Free and Prices Extreme

Many college kids can live off of $5 a day in food. Meaning you have an inexpensive breakfast, mac and cheese for lunch and say a sandwich for dinner. $5 a day. That’s pretty reasonable considering if you go an entire semester just at that cost you spend roughly $600 a semester, that is if the student goes home on winter break and has no food costs after that. And the MOST frugal of college students can maybe get that number down to $3 or maybe even $2 a day on food. Which is great, I think if one can be more frugal, then do it.

Yet constantly I can’t. While my boyfriend can make and eat a $1 box of macaroni and cheese for dinner, the same box of me, at the cheapest I have seen is $3. Three times the price for macaroni and cheese. Again and again this is the story. Many people can buy a loaf of bread for about $2, I usually face between $4.50 and often it is in the $6 range. One can buy a pound of pasta for $1, and I am faced with the cheapest, all rice at $2 to $5. When we look at everything else there is a massive gap. And it is not just avoiding grains, if one is sensitive enough to gluten then they have to make sure everything they buy off the store shelf is GLUTEN FREE, meaning that the processing and testing indicates that is has no, or in many cases VERY LITTLE gluten in it. So that means that a jar of jelly can go from $1.50 to $5 or that cereal, even just oatmeal can double in price.

So when I look at my grocery bills I want to cringe, because the reality is that I eat at home most the time and that I am still spending more than college kids that eat out once a day. My biggest problem comes from the financial crunch I face. While in theory most people can budget between $150-200/month in groceries, even if I just ate macaroni and cheese for two meals a day at $3/box I’m looking at $180/month in my macaroni bill. While everyone else can get away with $60/month.

So where does that leave me? I am in college, and the pell grant and other things pay for my tuition fees, and sometimes my books. Then I am left with loans for my living expenses per semester, I also work a part time job just to get by. Which with a semester, (I don’t go home for breaks) I get about $5000 and with my job I get another $1500-2000 over a five month period, until the next semester’s money comes in. so let’s say I have $7000 to work with from late August to late January.  I have to pay Sep.-Jan. in rent, which with most apartments in Fort Collins for a two bedroom with a room mate are around $1200/month that means I would be paying about $600/month times five that makes it $3000 gone. Leaving me with $4000. Utilities at another $100 (internet/television, electric, water, trash etc) leaves us at $3500. Let’s take off another $100/month for cell phone and car insurance so we’re at $3000/month. Which is not too bad unless we’re paying for student health insurance which at $1300/semester leaves us at $1700. Take off another $50/month for personal things like tampons, toothpaste etc and we’re at $1450. Which divided by 5 is $290 a month for groceries and other misc. expenses.

$290 a month.

That’s roughly what I am left with every semester to get by, if say I don’t have to buy a new laptop to do school work, or have to leave town in case of a family emergency etc.

The problem is that I do spend almost that much EVERY month to make sure I can eat well. Of course I could cut more expenses here and there, but the point is that when everything is two to three times more expensive for me to eat it becomes a struggle for myself and everyone else in my shoes to get by. 

It's not that there needs to be MORE price cuts for food workers to make it cheaper for me, but maybe us with celiac and other allergies (mine include soy, but also upsets to dairy, beans, nuts etc.) need more "income". It makes it really hard to get by and eat everything I need to to stay healthy. I wish I could go buy Burger King Veggie Burgers for $3 when I want something to eat, but instead I spend at leat $6 a meal if not closer to $10 just to eat somewhere where I won't get sick.  

So the point is that I feel CSU is really failing people with allergies and extra health related expenses in the way that they have things set up. I imagine even other people without allergies have a hard time getting through the semester,  say you without the ability or time to work part time, or you with a sick granny in New York that you fly home regularly to see. I feel you. Also who else has noticed the amount that rent has increased in the last year? When I started CSU most 2-bedroom places I looked into cost about $800/month, now most people are looking at $1200 or more, I have even heard of up to $1300 for studios by campus. That's more expensive than when I lived by downtown denver!

Not that the University has any control over housing prices, but they can adjust their "cost of living" and they could adjust their student housing to be better and more affordable, and they could work locally to establush more reasonably priced homes. Just some ideas, because when a city has only about a 1% vacancy rate it's really hard to fight for something affordable.

Who has thoughts on this? Also, do any of you know about getting tax breaks through the government for celiacs? I plan on saving all my receipts from this month to get a more accurate price count, and I’ll update in October! Thanks for reading. 

Want more iformation?

http://glutenfreecooking.about.com/od/glutenfreecookingbasics/a/highgffoodcosts.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18783640

http://www.city-data.com/city/Fort-Collins-Colorado.html

What is home?

An alien crash lands and you have to explain what HOME is because they have heard so much about it on our shows that have been beemed into space for them to watch.

Before we turn this into a fifth grade writing assignment...I seriously want to discuss what HOME is.

I don't know if I have the idea, or home, or understand it. I don't quite know what it is to me, nor have I ever felt like I have had a HOME of MINE.

Growing up we technically lived in my GRANDMA and GRANDPA'S house, for numerous reasons that I don't intend to go into here. They had the idea building the house that each child would have their own room, their GROWN in their 20s-40 year old children. My mom and dad got my DAD'S room. My sister's and I slept in the "hall room" until I was about 5 and then my aunt decided, since she only visited a little while each year to let  us sleep in her room. My other aunt never offered and years later when my mom had enough of there being a vacant room when three teenagers had to share one, and she moved one of us  in there, words and anger flew. The family is still upset about these things.

The thing about staying in my aunt's room was that we couldn't alter the motif, wall paper, hangings, etc. Random items littered the room of dolls, rugs and everything in between. Our books and goods stayed hidden in boxes under the bed and when we could reach out we were faced with complaints of holes in the wall, damage to the 20 year old paper and other problems. We hated it.

It never felt like our room.

It barely felt like our home.

At a time in was, we ran around OUR backyard, on OUR picnic table we played pirates, on OUR boulders we played games.

Then we hit reality as older children and saw the drama of great aunt's mentioning us sleeping in "Carol's room" or other reactions. It stung that we couldn't lay claim to where we slept every night, and instead felt like we should only be there for a little while, or only belonged there like a guest. It began to feel unlike home.

Fast forward to when I am 19 and I come back from 2.5 months in Europe and all my stuff is filled into this building I grew up in but I don't feel comfortable there.

6 months later I have my own place in Denver for college. I begin to feel like I have a home. I can decorate how I want....except the walls have to stay the same. And the windows keep breaking, and then I have to move because my school and pulled my major.

A year later and I move in with my boyfriend, and we combine furniture and a home, families, ideas, decor.

It feels like something close to home, except the neighbors gossip and try to spy on us, they make false claims we have a long list of annoying rules and regulations. The walls are white, everywhere, white. It feels like a hospital.

Yet as annoying as these things are, I have a person I share this home with, and having just come home from two and a half months abroad I don't know where else would feel okay.

I feel disjointed, jet lagged, and unsure where  I am, but I can just curl up with Ryan and start to feel better. SO maybe home is where the heart is, and you have to find where that was left. Mine has been left a lot of places, but ultimately in a town I don't particularly love and a state I wish to leave...it has a place, that my heart feels a little more free, happy, and welcome.

Photography Abroad

I've been overseas for two and a half months and didn't think I would be commisioned for photography. But I was! Thanks to my dear family friends in Stuttgart they asked me to do some photos of their 20 and 11 year old daughters in a medieval walled town, with traditional dress.

It was a wonderful couple of hours running around the city capturing architecture blended with the dresses and the love I feel for the people I was capturing.

Here are some shots, enjoy!

~Rebecca
By the way the dresses are called DIRNDLS (said dindle)

At the end of the day I'm only 22

That's it. I'm only 22.

Apparently, according to an online calculator my life expectancy is 92.

Meaning I have 70 years left, if I take care of myself. Which I try to do. I don't eat red meat or poultry. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I exercise a few times a week and need to step it up. I eat pretty healthy, no gluten or soy, limited amounts of dairy, I do need to eat less carbs though. I'm going to school, I have a lot of contact with friends/family.

So in statistical things I have a long life expectancy.

And I'm only 22.

Here are things I have done by 22...

-Graduated high school
-Attending university with a 3.0 GPA and getting two degrees, history and journalism
-Funded 2.5 month trip to Europe by myself at 19
-Took second trip to Europe at 22 for 2.5 months (Study Abroad)
-Visited a good chunk of places on my bucket list
-Lived by myself for a year
-Worked at two museums, one I had dreamed of working at since I was a little kid
-Bought half a NEW car with boyfriend
-Wrote a book (which I ended up hating and I am rewriting )
-I work at a really cool independant book store, as a weekend manager (another dream job)
-Made a long list of costumes for Halloween and other events
-I've acted in a lot of plays
-I've been to a beer fest in Germany
-I've been lucky to fall deeply in love with someone that loves me back
-Competed in horse shows
-Competed in singing competitions
-Worked on making myself a stronger, more loving and forgiving person through therapy and knowledge
-Battled demons from my past in the form of PTSD
-I'm lucky enough to help raise a really sweet 6 year old
-I've seen almost all of my favorite bands perform live (except The Beatles, but I saw a GOOD cover band in Florence, Italy)
-I have a lot of friends around the world, and I keep making more
- I had my own radio show with KCSU
-Volunteered at the library my mom works at
-Volunteered as help with a girl scout troop of younger girls
-Been to a lot of places I never thought I would actually get to go

When I look at this list, I don't anything that I haven't done that I wanted to...

By 22 I planned on being almost exactly where I am now.

I was hoping to live in another state and go to school, but out of state tuition and loans have kept me in Colorado, which is pretty okay. There are a lot of other things I have gained from being in good old Colorado. Like the small family I have with my boyfriend and his daughter. Or some great friends I have made, my job that I get to go to, the experiences I have had with music, and a long list of other things.

Oh I also had the idea that I could bull shit a book and get it published and not have to REALLY work at writing it. SURPRISE, it is a lot of work and not worth doing unless you put work into it. Good life lesson that.

There is nothing else I have not accomplished in my 22 years that I wish I had. I feel I have gone above and beyond that what I dreamed. Which is really cool.

Sometimes this world feels like it is meant to trip you up, that you're not good enough, talented enough, strong enough, or better than other people to get to where you are going. However, I recently had a teacher tell me what he thought about the rat race. Which is this: grades don't matter, school doesn't matter- learn and live to learn and live. Don't do it for a career, or worst- money. Do it for you. Don't worry about being better than anyone else, be better than you.

Be better than you.

I love that. I now see it's value. I don't have to have the same GPA as my other Journalism student friends, I don't have to make more money or go to a better school, or work for a better company or be a better writer. I just have to better than I was at some moment in my past. I just have to move forward for me, forward for my skills and my ideas, not what someone else wants. Not what society wants. I don't have to buy into the rat race, competitive mindset of my culture. I can break that.

"If you win the rat race, if you come in first place, than a rat is all you will be." ~DeVotchka

Who wants to be a rat? In the sense of someone being mean, stomping on toes and heads to get somewhere, throwing away love and relationships to be "better" than everyone around him.

The same teacher also told me that at the end of the day LOVE is the only thing that really matters, and I think he is right and to add to that he mentioned the importance of human connection and relationships.

I think I've also come to the conclusion that I would prefer to be happy and filled with a life of love than one filled with money, or a large amounts of control over something. I would prefer to be unknown than swallowed up in fame and prestige, in an image, in people gossipping or undermining me.

So all of you out there, if you are feeling like you haven't done a lot, make a list of everything you HAVE done and go over it. Make a list of things you HAVEN'T done that you wanted to by now and then start making them happen, or think what their importance is to you right now. Ask yourself, does it matter so much now that I know what I know? 

I'm ALIVE and confused...

So after getting the diagnosis of bronchitis and tonsillitis I've been laying low.

Having 1 infection while travelling would have been mean enough.

Having 2 is probably the most irritating thing I've ever experienced.

At least the German doctor I went to see was REALLY nice, even though there was a mix up wire th age and everyone thought I was 14 for a while, until I se them straight saying I was 22 and then my friend Fallon announced to me that she thinks I look only about 15/16 so I kind of fail on looking my age lately. Thanks Fallon.

Also my google chrome is all in Italian, which is annoying the hell out of me, so if I mis-spell a lot it's because I have lost my spell check. I am also not computer savvy enough to fix it.


Anyway,

Though I am ill, I am on an antibiotic to kill out those bacteria living in my lungs and throat! YAY!

And I had enough energy to go run errands with Carol and take care of her dog and eat out and go shopping for dirndls and lingerie.

I even went to Frankfurt this last weekend to meet some family (cousins). I met my dad's cousin Mark and his son David and Saturday afternoon we spent it doing a walking tour of the city. Which amongst wonderful new sky-scrapers were charming fragments of the old city which had been largely destroyed in WWII. I really want to go back to see the city at Christmas time.

On Sunday Mark met with me to take me to a smaller city outside of Frankfurt accesible by train, Rudesheim, a UNESCO world heritage site, and then we caught a boat and sailed the Rhein River for the afternoon. Minus a terrible sunburn on my shoulders and chest, it was a WONDERFUL experience. The river was dotted with castles and charming little villages with architecture and buildings dating back to the middle ages. We had some local wine next to a building dated 1368, and discussed how old it was, and that it was before greats like Da Vinci and Galileo. What WAS happening in the world that year? What did people believe in that town way back then? My answer would be that the church was integral to their daily lives, they would have been wealthy to have such a large home, and that their life would have been heavily influenced by the trade and fishing on the Rhein.

Once again I noted my love of being on the water. The smell, the feeling, the emotion. I often like to imagine I'm some great world traveler and explorer off to find new things to write about to tell people about. Then I realize I am surrounded by thirty other tourists and that these places have been known for a very long time. But I still like to pretend I am finding threads of something lost or unknown.

After the cruise it was a train back to Frankfurt, where I promptly passed out until reaching the city, then in was a three hour bus ride back to Stuttgart.

Monday was shopping in Stuttgart, and Tuesday we went to a traditional German Mineral Thermbad. Or Mineral bath house. Meaning one had a variety of natura hot spring  pools to enjoy or the other option of going to sit and refresh totally nude in one of several different saunas. I tried both the pools and saunas and found it a relaxing and refreshing experiences and wonderful for my being sick.

Today it's more errands, and such.

Tomorrow I am doing photography of Fallon and McKenna in their dirndls in a medieval walled city, followed by dinner and drinks in the city with Fallon and her friend Alex.

Friday is going to see a baroque palace (time/weather permitting)

and Saturday it's off to Strasbourg, France for classic architecture and charm in a German influenced part of Alsace, and we should return Sunday.

Monday I fly to London, stay the night in a hostel there, and then Tuesday I will attempt to do some photography and then head back to Denver. Time is a ticking on this adventure.

Which makes me sad.

I have to go back to real life soon.

Which means I have Ryan, a real plus.

But also means I have work, and family, and a million other things like bills and cleaning that I have to do.

Not to mention school. Which I am having a really hard time wanting to return to.

Not that I don't want to keep learning, that I DESPERATELY want to do, it's that I don't know what I'm learning at CSU.

A month in Italy and I feel like I learned more there than I have in a year and a half of classes at CSU, and that is not to say I haven't had some AMAZING teachers at CSU. They're just not all amazing. Some have been soul crushing, intimidating, mean, lazy, our of touch, or just plain shouldn't teach. So it scares me. It scares me to be so in debt for something I am not enjoying half the time, and that I SHOULD be. Can't it be that things are taught to all learning styles? All kinds of people? That's what happened in Italy, why doesn't it at always happen at COLORADO STATE?

I don't want to rip on the school but I feel dissapointed half the time. One semester I'll have an inspiring visual communication teacher that sparks an interest in web development, or a history teacher that gets me excited again about 18th century clothing and design. Yet, on the other hand I'll have the history teacher that only wants dates and names, or an English professor that tells everyone how horribly untalented they are.

I shouldn't be depressed about more than half the education I am recieving.

But I don't know what to do.

I am LITERALLY a semester and a half from a history degree, and I will have both History and a Journalism degree in two years.

Do I transfer now to the online world and learn from a webcam and writings?

Or move to UNC and stress about how to commute to Greeley all the time when I co-own one car with my boyfriend, who needs the car to go to work to pay his bills and to take his daughter to a better school in Loveland.

I don't know what to do, other than HOPE for a better set of classes and teachers the next four semesters (6 if we count summer) and wishfully think I'll get excited about walking around the clark building all day for two years. There are WONDERFUL teachers at CSU, can I please just have them the next two years? PLEASE!?!?

At the end of the day I just want to learn, REALLY learn, REALLY get excited about the world, REALLY want to feel like changing it for the better, REALLY want to be passionate....that's all I want...but why do I have to go 5,000 miles away to find it?

Enough of a rant...time to explore some more of Germany.

~Rebecca Lee Robinson

P.S. have some ideas for me? please feel free to comment.

Florence to Venice

My last few days in Italy were a mixed bag of emotions.

I was sick when I left Florence Saturday morning, but excited for seeing my old friends in Padua and our journey onto Venice.

Now that I am away from Florence I miss things, like my favorite gelato stand, or my daily walk by the Duomo to school.  I will hold that city in a special place in my heart, much like Edinburgh. It is full of memories, dreams, and love. I hope to return to both one day, with my loved ones, and show them what inspires me.

The funny thing is I want to consider myself an "expert" on travel in a few places now. As if I KNOW the little ins and outs to things, like I could drag around 5 other people and show them Italy or at least Tuscany with little to no problems. Could being a tour guide be another viable option for a career? Something I could do. Private tours of Tuscany, or East Lothian or anywhere else. I could take people, show them around, tell them the history of a place, assist with food options and allergies, hotels, days trips. I think I would love this. I enjoyed helping my friends leave the city for a day trip on the train or bus, and three year ago I helped a friend find a ferry to England when the ash cloud was messing with everyone. I love sharing things with people, even full strangers. I was also inspired by Richard, my program director and how giving he was to us all as we travelled Italy. Maybe I COULD do this....the possibilities. Let me know what you think readers and friends, would I be a good guide around the world? w

I think I want to try on too many hats in my life for careers, can't I just decide and stick with one?

Anyway, I spent my last day in Florence at Santa Croce and before that I got pizza at my favorite place to get pizza and before that I went to the Da Vinci museum and saw all the replica machines. The Da Vinci Museum had me inspired by the man, then following it up with seeing Galileo and Michelangelo tombs at Santa Croce made it hard to want to say good bye to a city that gave birth to so many greats.

But....all good things must come to an end.

I had a wonderful three course meal with my program director and roommates....

Went to bed early.

Then on the morning of June 6th, I took out the trash, put away the dishes, got my luggage and said goodbye on the 10:15 train to Padua.

In Padua my friends, Fallon, McKenna and Carol retrieved me from the train station and took me to a famous and important Cappella Degli Scrovegni which is covered in the inspiring and pivotal masterpieces of Giotto. All things I knew nothing about until I got there, and I was happy to go, it was all very inspiring and though I was "sick" of looking at Jesus paintings, this was a new and welcome form, story and style that I had not expected. I was very happy we went.

Then it was the drive to the docks to take a ferry to Venice Lido. Where we dropped off the bags, the car, and had horrible service at a cafe along the main drag.

Up by 8 the next morning and properly moving by 11 Fallon and I took off to the city to see the Bienalle art show, which was well worth it for the pure fact that I got to talk to trees.

You are thinking....Rebecca's fever must really be up there, but NO I got to talk to trees!

The Bienalle is an international art exhibition and the pavillion of Finland and two other countries had a hand in the making of something I consider next to a miracle. Through science they Bia way to record the sound of photosynthesis. Not only that, but the sound that my voice and my carbon dioxide and the effect that it had on the trees. Therefore the sound that the trees made, was in reaction to me, and only me, and in ways it was as if the trees were talking to me in a dinstinct code. It was just amazing. Never have I had such a feeling of amazement and joy at anything, and never in my life did I think I could talk to a tree, let alone three of them! So, if you are going to Venice and you like art, check this out, the talking trees made the ticket worthwhile but everything else was icing on the cake, like having Russian coins rained on me.

After the Biennale we did the typical Venice thing and had a gondola ride for 40 minutes. At €20/person or €80 for the whole boat for 40 minutes it was a little steep, but everyone needs to a gondola ride at least once in Venice. We also had the luxury of having an older gentleman as our gondolier making the experience one filled with stories and pleasant talk, even a little singing. He was the typical Italian man I just adore conversing with, warm, funny, friendly, and with a love for life and making new friends.

Post-gondalo we walked around St. Mark's Square, rehydrated, and then did some shopping where Fallon tracked down an ITALIA hoodie and then we all enjoyed a late evening Sunday dinner of seafood. I had clams and Gluten Free spaghetti.

Then we took the boat back to Lido.

Monday morning we decided against the city and crowds and instead headed for a local island called Burano. Famous for its lace and ostentacious coloered houses. It was beautiful, and very fun to photograph, stroll through and go shopping.

Then we took McKenna back to Lido so she could go to the beach....but I got a nose bleed while everyone was getting ready and send Fallon and McKenna out on their own while I recovered. It was then that I realized how bad my cold was and that mybody was screaming for me to SLOW down.

The next day was the drive to Bavaria, where I felt worse and worse as the hours ticked by and I should have been ecstatic at seeing the alps, and ten to fifteen magnificent castles. But it all feels like a feverish fog.

Which carried on in Garmisch at our wonderful alpine hotel and traditional dinner with dancing, yodeling, and music.

And has found me here on Friday, where I have spent the last two days in bed, mostly sleeping.

Tonight I feel well enough to go get dinner somewhere....

and maybe tomorrow to go see a medieval town. I hope.

Nyquil and Dayquil are my best friends right now.

Where Has Rebecca Gone?

Well sick, to put it simply, I have fallen into a black hole of a seriously nasty cold.

It hit some time after the Chianti tour and got worse as I stayed in Venice. Leaving my brain foggy, my reasoning senseless, and my heart and soul homesick. I have those cravings for the little things when I get ill, like curling up with my boyfriend, and having tea on my couch while whining how I hate being sick. While traveling I'm horrible about being sick. I don't want to stay in bed, I don't want to take it easy, I want to explore. I want to ignore my spinning head and coughing so I can go and see some art and people, take a gondola ride.

Yet, my body had other ideas. Like giving me a nose bleed for half an hour and finally out of exhaustion forcing me to sleep for 20 hours yesterday.

The good news is that I am in Germany, with friends, and I have the ability to sleep, to rest, to clear out my lungs. Except, I am terrible about wanting to stay in bed and rest, when there is a church ringing bells just down the way, and apparently a medieval walled city a few kilometers away.

Oh well.

So forgive me readers as I try to catch up on my story telling.

Details

I am trying to remember details.

Like the smell of Fiesole with its tress, clean air and wildlife. Or the feel of walking through its cemetery on Saturday, and feeling haunted by it being so different than cemeteries I had ever been to. Being moved by the ancient Etruscan amphitheatre and the fact that those people settled this area 2500 years ago. 

I think of the emotion I feel when I walk such ancient tracks of lands, streets and their trillions of people's feet that have touched them. I am amazed that cultures thrived on steep hills and rocky lands so long ago, without trains, cars, bikes but instead animal and human power. I think about what these people ate, and wore, how they loved, married, slept, breathed, talked, hugged, kissed, cried. I think they were so much like me that if I fell into their world we could get along just fine. I think that there is plenty to show us that people are mostly good.

I reflect on the taste of wines I tried yesterday in tuscany, and how unique they all were, the flavor, the way they melted down the throat, the smell and our host how he spoke, and presented himself. How he, being a retired veterinarian, teared up when he mentioned losing his truffle hunting dog a few days previous to cancer. How I then teared up thinking about losing dogs through my life and how it always makes you cry.

I remember how things connect in my mind, a smell, a feel of the air, a word, a way the sun glows. Yesterday we stood in a medieval town, much unchanged over the centuries, Monteriggioni. From somewhere a smell of campfire mixed delicately with the humid tuscan sky, the late afternoon sun made the stone glow with the rolling hills. Reminding me of summers camping, reenacting, in Wyoming on the family ranch. Those sun-baked sand stone castles of rural Wyoming and how for some reason they hit me in Tuscany with a fondness, a memory, a longing for something. 

The little things hit home, how a hill or road is angled to remind you of a drive you took in the Black Hills. 

Maybe someone's face will look slightly like a lost friend, or a relative.

Half a planet away and things will send you back home. 

Gluten Free in Italy? Vegetarian? No problem

Hey folks, I have a lot of food allergies, they drive me insane, have left me in tears and leave me up at night with stomach aches...but in Italy I have had AMAZING luck. I don't joke, the land of meat, pasta, and dairy is one that also values fresh food, variety and vegetables. I live in Colorado, and in the land of beef and potatoes I have the HARDEST time finding Gluten-Free, Pescatarian, Dairy-Free, Soy-Free food. This is when you ask WHAT do you eat?

Lots of lovely things I say....especially in Europe.

Here are the tips of the trade for Italy.

DON'T PANIC- because you will find tons to eat, I promise.

BE PATIENT- look at a few places, cities like Florence are covered in restaurants, if one place doesn't have something, move on, there is hope. Also, read the menus, look for signs, a lot of places are proud to cater to celiacs.

ASK- Ask if they do SENZA GLUTINE, just say it, they'll tell you if they have special noodles, pizza, a whole menu or nothing. Also, I ask locals, or in my case my fashion teacher had a lot of suggestions and they often have a friend or sibling they eat out with and have to go to special places.

BE CREATIVE- Order side dishes if you have to, like potatoes, spinach, beans, or appetizers like caprese (if you can handle a little cheese).

TRIAL and ERROR- In the USA a plate of cheese or a gluten-free cheese pizza can leave me sick for two days, here the dairy has less of an effect on my system. I have had gelato almost every day for a week with no repercussions, seriously. Don't go crazy, try a little and see, or have it once or twice and stop. Cheese is a HUGE thing in Italy, so expect to see it in everything, and good luck refusing it all the time. Red sauce is safe, and make sure to ask for NO cheese, or NO LATTE.

CARRY A CARD- Make up a card with everything you are allergic to, written in ITALIAN (google translate if need be). Even if it is in really poor Italian it will give the server and staff an easier time to find you food.

GO TO THE MARKET- If you go to the central market in Florence you probably won't find Gluten-Free noodles or anything like that, but you WILL find some amazing fresh fruit, vegetables, wine, oils, and if you eat meat or fish the fresh of the fresh. Larger supermarkets will also carry Gluten-Free noodles, breads, cookies and crackers to aid in your plight.

GOOGLE- Google other tips, restaurants and anything you can think of, Google is basically my best friend.

Places I have tried in Florence...
Le Botteghe Di Leonardo- on Via Ge Ginori 21/r
GELATO: (cheating on the no-dairy thing, big time) This places does Gluten-Free cones, new flavors every week, and is the BEST gelato I have had anywhere.


(r means RED numbers on the wall, which are businesses. The BLUE numbers are residence. It's a florence thing)

Ciro and Sons- Via de Giglio 28/r
PASTA: I had an amazing pesto here, Gluten Free noodles and all, and it is in a BEAUTIFUL 18th century palace. They serve Gluten Free because one of the SONS married an American (a previous student of my fashion teacher) who had celiac disease.
PIZZA: you have to make a reservation for their Pizza at least 5 hours ahead, call or email.

The Clubhouse- Via de' Ginori, 6r
PIZZA: If you like buckwheat crusts then this place is great! They also have a wide selection of pizza types and many other things to try as well. Also, if you plan to come back with your hamburger loving partner or friend, this is a GREAT place to try!

In Rome:

Rinaldi al Quirinale- Via Parma, 11a-00184-Roma
I had the best dinner of my life (eating out) at this place in Rome. Off the beaten path of tourist traffic, crappy, expensive food, my study abroad program found this place and I LOVED it. I plan on returning when I make it back to Rome in what I hope to be the near future. I had GREAT food here, and wonderful service, very accomidating, telling me when I said I was Gluten-Free they would make me ANYTHING on the menu, I kid you not! They even baked me my own bread and brought it to me FRESH from the oven.

Anyone for a Joust?

Italy, come to find out, is full of surprises.

On Saturday my friend Mary and I met up for some museum seeing, meaning I got to see the Uffizi and David once more. I also got personal with Venus and realized she has GOLD hair, which is pretty awesome...Botticelli you genius you.

After all of that we made our way to a joust! Which was put together by a medieval reenactment group! they decided on a need to compete with one another in jousting and fencing so they had a big event, and had the money for tickets go to charity and it was wonderfully fun! It was great to see that it was not staged (okay they were really competing, but yes the costumes, parade and dancing were all a little "staged") because the horses were visibly antsy, they would pull little stunts and other little problems, stamping their feet, nipping at the other horses. They were beautiful beasts, all at about 18 hands I would say, and the owners, for being Italians were pretty tall too. They all wore their uniforms, and had names, which probably identified them to some part of their family and historical past. I spent two and a half hours there, and didn't even notice it as I snapped photos. A wonderful treat, which left me in a happy mood walking home and into bed.

The next morning, bright and early Mary and I went to Lucca, and rented bikes for €3/hour to bike around the city walls for a few hours, through the little town, and had lunch. Lucca, which I also visited the Sunday before really grew on me this time. I loved biking through the town, and see the city in a new way. The weather was also not so hot, so it was more comfortable for me. Mary loved the quiet, still and peaceful neighborhoods and people. I find it a refuge from the chaos that is Florence and swarms of tourists, Lucca was so green, and welcoming, a real Tuscan treat and the medieval walls added a lot of charm to its facade.

After lunch we took the train to Viareggio, where I got a different beach experience. Unlike Marina di Pisa it was VERY beachy, covered in tourists from Italy and beyond, but it also had glorious waves I could swim and jump through and get to feel like I have FULLY had a beach trip. At 22, I feel part of the club now. The surprise there was the mountains in the back drop! BEAUTIFUL steep cliffs rising from the hills, snow covered and dominating the landscape. That was very cool, and helped with me missing REAL mountains.

I was also the WHITEST person at the beach, no one starred too much at my glowing translucent skin.

By 7 we were on a train home, and 9 at our apartments ready for bed.

Today is more Medieval fun with the celebration of St. John the Baptist, with a gory, crazy and violent "football" match where the men basically beat each other too a pulp. My history teacher participated one year and came out with broken wrist, ankle, collar bone, and a black eye, and claims he was in better shape than some. I won't really get to see the game, I didn't get tickets, not knowing I NEEDED to, but I should get to see the parade, and the fireworks tonight.

CIAO!

Time Doesn't Stop

Well duh, anyone knows this that has passed the first grade.

But at home it can feel like time drags, when say I want the semester to be over so I can have a summer in Europe.

Of course, then summer gets here and it flying by. Then I remember this is like the first REAL summer I think I have had in about six years. Where I am not working a job and/or taking a really heavy class load, that left me with no time to have much summer fun. So this year is different, and I feel so relaxed, like I have never felt before. Except for missing Ryan this summer is going pretty well, it feels like summer, not a hot stop-gap between semesters in the stressful 4.5 years that will be my university experience.

However, time speeds by, what feels like last night I was dancing to The Beatles....but that was Tuesday, and today is Saturday. And I am having a hard time remembering the space in between.

I know on Monday and Tuesday I went to the Bargello Museum, which used to be a prison, but is now home to a lot of spiffy medieval art and Donatello's Davids and the like. They also have a cool room of Arabic artifacts probably collected in the crusades. There are also about 101 pieces of brilliantly carved ivory, poor elephant and/or walrus, but the art is stunning.

Wednesday I spent time on homework and out of the heat. Which was good but it was a day wasted and of not seeing things.

Thursday was filled with events, such as a really neat Men's Fashion expo, unlike anything I have ever been to where the men were dressed to the nines (we don't see that in the states) and I got about six different free magazines discussing next year's hits. It was beautiful to see the way it was laid out, artists selling art, selling lifestyles. I may disagree with the morals of some of this capitalism stuff, but there were highlights. Like the booth that sell women's jewelry, little fine metal hearts, and all the profit goes to help domestic violence victims. Or the fact that this event was only open to buyers and students of fashion. I felt like I was actually part of the cool cats, especially when a Japanese photographer took our photo, who knows maybe I'll be in a Japanese magazine?

I also ate two Gluten free pizzas on Thursday...one for lunch, one for dinner, and I didn't feel bad! They were really yummy, and the first I have had since arriving in Italy.

Then I finished the night at a pub quiz, winning second place with Richard my program director, I got a bottle of Rose' a bottle opener, and CD and Richard won me a shirt from the pub which makes a really cool pajama shirt!

Friday was kind of lazy, I got up and went to this old monastery to look at more Jesus paintings, which to me honest I am getting a little tired of, sorry there were just so many Jesus paintings one can look at in a few weeks time and not go a bit mad.

Then I walked around a bit, found out there is going to be a Medieval Joust today (Saturday) so I have made plans to attend that.

Then I finally went into the Duomo, because the line was not horrendous. BUT the church did not have the beauty and impact of the one in Siena, (they have moved most of the art elsewhere) and I got annoyed at people not following the dress code and then wondering why they were in trouble over it and then arguing about leaving the church. I feel that it is a respect thing, that the Catholic churches want modesty and that is their game, they keep the churches open so art and history geeks can come look and see (usually for free), they deal with thousands of people a day that come through the gates, so I think they can be a bit picky over it. I know it's not easy when it is summer and everyone is roasting, but it's just a thing, you have to respect it.

Then I went to the grocery store, got home, made lunch, talked to Ryan, my mom and sister Elizabeth, and my Aunt Carol. Then I went back out to the Museo di Palazzo Vecchio, which was another old Medici palace and at one point a parliament. Full of more beautiful frescoes and paintings it was fun to look at, fun to take in. There were great views of the city from the windows and the climb up the tower, which offered about the same view as I think the duomo does, for a little cheaper. It was also not very crowded and I could go at the end of the day so like 6pm-8pm and they're open until midnight. Then I did some photography, walked home, ate some dinner, and crawled into bed after a chat with my Aunt Jayne.

Today is up in the air, I may go back to Lucca with a friend, and I really want to go to that Jousting competition, so we will wait and see.

CIAO!